There are certain "unspoken rules" that exist where Weddings are concerned, but since these may have fallen by the wayside...they are about to become un-unwritten. Oh, alright, they are about to become written. Nowhere near as fun to say that way, I'm sure you'll agree.
1) The very VERY first, and MOST important rule, is money.
Too many people ask "How much have you spent?" "What did that cost?" "How can you afford it?", without any specific reason other than to just, and I'm sorry for saying this, be nosey. Money is a topic that is uncomfortable at the best of times, and this is most certainly not the best of times. Please don't break this rule; it's just bad manners, and whilst you're sharing their special day, unless you are sharing the expense also, it's none of your concern.
2) This has become a problem for SO many Brides. It's that sticky 'plus-one' situation.
Never assume that you can bring a guest unless specified on your invitation. It's not fair to the couple for you to bring uninvited or unexpected guests, and if there is food being provided, it's downright rude. Guest lists are catered for; additional guests will throw out the numbers, not to mention the hard work it takes to chase up every single RSVP and make a list, checking it twice. Brides, like Santa, need to be sure of who has been naughty or nice, and who can and can't attend. That list is deemed useless if the Bride's third cousin has decided to bring along his latest Flavour of the Month. Harsh, but true.
3) AWOL is just as unacceptable as turning up uninvited; it's equally unfair for the Bride and Groom to cater for Guests who have no intentions of turning up, despite sending a positive RSVP. Weddings are incredibly expensive as it is; one Bride catered for forty more Guests than turned up to her reception. All of which had confirmed this a mere 24 hours before. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you won't be missed; if you've been invited, the couple have deemed you special and important enough to share one of the most special days of their life together. It's an honour to be invited to celebrate this occasion, it's only fair to behave as such.
4) Following on from this, using a wedding as an excuse to get drunk and have a knees-up is appalling. You may not over indulge and make a fool of yourself- this is the biggest day of someone else's life. Show some respect for the people who, as previously mentioned, have deemed you special and important enough to share this day with.
5) Don't assume you'll be invited to both parts of the celebration either; usually, numbers for the ceremony are more restricted that for the reception, and making the decision to bump someone off the day list may be a necessary evil, and especially difficult if the choice is between a friend and a family member.
If your invitation says "evening celebration" or similar on it, feel free to be inwardly offended, but try not to make a fuss. If you feel you should have been invited to the ceremony, chances are the Bride and Groom feel the same way, but it's not always possible. Health and Safety regulations in Registry Offices are particularly strict; numbers absolutely cannot exceed the maximum capacity, which I've known to be at 20; to include the Bride and Groom, two registrars, and two witnesses. That's down to 14 other guests, which is essentially just seven couples. This number is lowered again should the couple have children. Something to bear in mind before you get upset about being invited to the evening reception.
I can only apologise if this has seemed like a negative post, but if you are a Bride to Be suffering concerns of the above, a little link to this post on Facebook should subtly pre-warn you guests as to your expectations where their behaviour and etiquette are concerned. Which, coincidentally, are not high expectations at all.
Until next time, when I promise to be more upbeat...
Best behaviour...Santa is on his way, after all!
The Enchanted One xoxo
